Secretions Magnifiques by Etat Libre d’Orange

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Looking for a spunky new scent or a bloody fabulous new fragrance? Among the many reasons to wear an eaux, alluring the opposite sex is fairly high on the list. With the launch of Secretions Magnifiques, raunchy perfume company Etat Libre d’Orange brings us the antidote to conventional fragrance.

Inside of this disturbing concoction lies the essence of blood, sweat, saliva, and sperm (along with sandalwood and coconut, too). I’ve had the profound pleasure of sniffing this olfactory orgasm and I was surprised to find that it doesn’t smell quite as horrible as you’d think. I wouldn’t call it pleasant, but it’s certainly interesting and well-developed. Hey, I’ve always been one to give credit where credit is due.

Secretions Magnifiques is currently only being sold in the US at Henri Bendel, where staffers are happy to take phone orders if you don’t live in the New York area. Or you could just try to mix up your own juice, but I wouldn’t recommend it.

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Jamie Lynn Spears

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